Today I got a note from our old friend and associate, Scholar. In his email he says"Brother Allen,
"Hate to be a bummer , but I think this needs to be heard.
"You decide whether you would like to put it forward or not.
"I respect your judgement.
"Hope we can connect soon."http://scholar93.tumblr.com/
I don't consider this a "bummer" at all. I seldom have much to say these days in public about the "caliphate" - I have far bigger fish to fry. I do wish more people would speak out as Scholar does here. For my own take see my monograph AGONY, click here.
"Do what thou wilt"
SCHOLAR The Rapping Occultist
May 16, 2011
“Nepotism” by SCHOLAR 2005
May 16, 2011 Why I loved the O.T.O.
“Why I loved the O.T.O”
“Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.”
My OTO body , Serpentine Splendour Lodge in Las Vegas, was a wonderful oasis of friendship. I truly enjoyed being with the members that became my friends at the Lodge. Learning from the knowledgeable friends and laughing with everyone was how we spent the day at SSL. Good times. One day while mopping the lodge floors and cleaning the temple space for an upcoming event a close friend of mine called.
“What are you doing?”
“Right now I’m mopping floors.”
“At my OTO thing.”
“You’re always working at that OTO group you must really get a lot from it.”
“Yeah, I guess I do.”
“I have never had anything that made me as happy as you are at that OTO.”
My friend didn’t know what the “OTO” was, but she did know that I was there every time she called me.
How naïve I was, moving up into the local body from Secretary to Deputy Lodge Master thinking that my local body was the OTO. Unfortunately, I soon found the politics and play parties similar to high school, “Glee”, “Fame” or
“90210”overshadowed the contributions being made by a local body.
An outsider came into the area and was allowed to over rule the practices of over a decade of local customs because she knew the King and his wife and used it to push her demands. My fraternal oasis was quickly flooding and sinking due to undermining of local rules. People who were on bad report or too lazy to observe the rules of the local body were encouraged to unofficially form their own group within miles of the Lodge. The body members of the Lodge were encouraged to support two bodies which had no reason to be in one valley which needed money focused on keeping the official Lodge going as opposed to fractioning off into an unneeded second body in under a 15 mile radius.
We had great fundraisers at Serpentine Splendour Lodge that were as much fun as they were profitable. We united the pagan community after years of segregation by attending their events and they came to our events respectively. Because of stigmas surrounding the OTO, many of the local pagan groups avoided us or straight out rejected us. It was only because of our local OTO officers personalities and dedication that we were able to bridge the differences and finally start to come together as one strong pagan community, unified. By the time we had one of our last big events, there was more support from the pagan community as a whole volunteering at our event, than there was from the local members. It was wonderful to be a strong community as a concise unified pagan whole.
I remember laughing and sweating working for hours at an overall purpose to bring Thelema to the valley of Las Vegas. And serve the community through Gnostic Masses and initiations. I had deep pride in my body with intelligent members with jobs!(Can you imagine!) We were melding the art community with the magick/Thelemic community bringing in money that paid a portion of the bills for the Lodge through DJ shows, art galleries, and silent auctions. The body innovated fundraisers at a level never practiced in the OTO. We hosted out of town visitors and showed them around Las Vegas and at times arranged tickets to the show I was performing nightly on the Strip.
The body was excelling and we were challenging each other to be the most competent and instructed initiators and clergy we could be. We practiced healthy friendly competition and had regular mass and initiation practices to make sure we were not just half assed rambling parts of quotes from the sacred initiations.
But soon politics infected progress and eventually beat down the will to excel leaving us doing whatever we could to explain to guests , associate members (not involved as officers just attending) and anyone else who asked why Grand Lodge wasn’t not supporting us ,but siding with a group formed out of a common bond of undermining the good of the lodge for something “looser on rules” where people who made guests nervous being creepy and/or anti-Semitic couldn’t even get sponsors into the lodge unanimously.
We requested an official investigation to defend ourselves against accusations lobbied against us from the outsider with friends in high places. The report was dismissed and ignored because they did not find the horrible evidence they wanted to find to assist in shutting down the body or at least transferring leadership to someone more politically fuckable. (Is my English correct with that word?)
Eventually the body was closed because the members were forced to either back the socially inept “Camp In Formation Leader” or get out of the way. The members voted and wanted things the way they had always been or nothing at all. And so the body closed and my love and hope for the beauty of the Ordo Templi Orientis was tainted by the reality of dirty politics and nepotism. (See “Nepotism” 2005 SCHOLAR discography)
I held one flickering flame for the OTO as I toured North America and would visit bodies in most of the cities I toured, hoping I would see that all of the dirty politics was only affecting my local body. I hoped it was a hurtful exception to the norm. Instead, I heard story after story of support from Grand Lodge being ignored or the victims of the same situation (politically aligned outsider moving in and eating the body from within) over and over again. The difference was we wouldn’t shut up. We wouldn’t just allow this to happen silently over and over again. We wanted “the people” to represent the OTO, but the upper management make the rules and they choose who will be expelled, put on bad report, or simply ignored and left to make their own decisions which would then be overturned in favor of the most politically connected usurper. You could go through a mediation process where you would be asked to metaphorically apologize to the rapist and explain how you shouldn’t have been so seductively adhering to the rules on the page when the words of a misguided leadership rendered all your fighting moot.
I loved the OTO with all of my heart. I wanted a lamen tattoo and I wrote songs to rally the order and my brothers and sisters. I donated monthly, weekly, and more knowing my money was going to helping members see what an exceptional local body we had. I later realized I didn’t know where my money was really going.
It sure wasn’t publishing books or even Agape. And soon the “invitation only” degrees were approaching and if you dared question Grand Lodge you shouldn’t hold your breath on acceptance because YOU probably have issues to workout with an immovable unforgiving nepotistic system. The Thought Police were everywhere.
Yes, I loved the OTO more than any other organization I had ever been a part of and all I got in return was years of insightful “dissent” music that helped me clarify my Thelema. I didn’t need acceptance in an organization where people judge your worth by if you’ll submit to creepy sexual advances in order to be invited to hang with the “cool” club and get your next initiation from those same hollow people who never listened to you when you needed real mediation and solemnly wise guidance. I learned you can not seek to be raised in initiation from people whom you had no respect for their drug addled choices and bad decision making.
I loved the OTO, but the “spirituality” I sought was only placed synthetically by me upon an idea of what I thought the OTO really was from reading Crowley. But Crowley wrote fiction and I could get more initiatory insight and spiritual training reading the edited chopped up Crowley books released to the public after the “real” goods had been removed and saved for political leverage later.
And now that I’ve resigned from the OTO, I still look back on the great times I had with the OTO, like a girlfriend who I was just getting to know right before I was let into her world and realized that she was nothing like that superficial dream I was seeing in the beginning. Her intentions were misguided and her family members were even more twisted and conniving than she. But I loved her. Or thought I did.
I still have a picture of my OTO hanging in the words and ideas of the songs I wrote during the honeymoon, but they are informed by the lessons I learned and recorded in the songs, podcasts, books, and satire I have released since to be a warning to others to love the OTO, but beware of the men behind the curtain. I say men because the only women that are allowed to rise are the most damaged, submissive, or soon to be damaged women who misguidedly see “Scarlet Woman” in the role of something to be controlled by the “Beast” which is a station always assigned to men. And is always in the drivers seat.
Before my current spouse was my spiritual soul warrior, she was my friend, my initiator, and my superior officer in the OTO. She was on the “fast track” in moving up the chain of command until she rejected a sexual advance at a party and soon found herself shut out. She rejected the sexual advances which lead to whispers of her not being part of the team.
You would like to assure yourself that these are the ramblings of someone with a grudge for a “one time” situation. And you may do that. Right until it happens to you or someone you know.
“Love is the law, love under will.” 11:37pm
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