August 13th, 2006

From"Decoded" The arrival

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Brief entry. During My period of Elsewhere, I lost a lot of my friends list. Since I am part and parcel to an ongoing current....uhhhmmm....thing, I really would like to be reaching *a lot more people interactively*. So, tell your friends to friend me if you think what I have to say is worth hearing/discussing/staring at in bewilderment. If you know someone I don't who might be interested, give me their lj identity and I'll friend them, and they can accept or reject my allen-ness, as they wish.

One thing I've noticed in The Great Debate -- I actually noticed it on "Thelema Coast to Coast" which, especially considering the profound differences between Keith and I, was pretty fair to me. But *everyone* talks *around* my statement that set off this whole deal (I think-they don't talk to me anymore), but nobody cites where you can read it, nobody quotes it, even to refute it, that I've noticed. Keith and John spent about half an hour on it, but didn't even reference the web site. Not everyone who listens to podcasts or blogs necessarily knows where to look. Its been pointed out to me that if you google my name, the site comes up, but even that is not a give away, so the *assumption* that people will know what I have - and haven't said is a risky and unfair one.

I reread it today. I stand by every word. It is moderate, does not get into personal flaming or anecdotes, and is, by lj standards, moderate to the point of being slightly tedious. I talk about the profound change in me on fanaticism of any sort after 9/11, the results of policies in Grand Lodge of OTO I consider disasters over a long period of time, and then call for the resignation of the two principle architects of the policies (or lack of them) that led down this path. I not only do not insult them personally, I speak of them *only* by their 'magical' titles and state explicitly that I am not presuming to know their hearts, only their actions.

Mutterings from Above imply I say OTO membership has fallen....I say only that it is flat, which it is, and small, which it is, and I concentrate on the failure to initiate IX*s, which they have. On that, the story gets floated that I didn't present this same info quietly through channels, only repeatedly hit poor David up for my own advancement. Crow told me if I'd been advanced, I would never have made such a statement. Actually, by the time I reached VII* I was starting to say these things. I sat in David's living room the night *before* he gave me VII* and told him I thought his boss was unfit for the office. I also gave him the copy of my signed and limited circulation free book on sexual magick. In short, I gave him every opportunity not to advance me, and that if he did, he did so in the knowledge I was a dissenter. In ten years, I've mentioned advancement to him four times. Once in San Francisco, once in Austin, Texas, Once at NOTOCON 1, once at some VII* initiations in Southern CA. He said he had pout my name in three times for advancement. I have no self-interest in calling for his resignation - rather, had I been advanced, I would have been able to speak as I have with greater authority -- before they booted me out.

I think there are even some critics who have not even read the statement, let alone the chapter of ROOTS OF MAGICK that expands upon it. My points are specific, and should be discussed in specific.

My comments since it was obvious I was been railroaded have been far more barbed, and They are even trying to lump these in as an "excuse" but They had alrerady told me to quit, and had rendered a fair tribunal virtually impossible before I pulled my gloves off. Further, I still have not gone to the very real stories about Bill and his life as Caliph of the Faithful which I have been careful to document against a day like this one. Trust does not come easily to me, and they have not inspired trust. I will be as civil-but only as civil-as they are.

If you've read every word I've said and resonated with it, you still don't really know how bad this leadership, so-called, is. I do. They have mistaken southern politeness for me being a pushover, apparently. That I am not.
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